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What Your Pets Write in Their Diaries
This came to me through an email and it was just too funny for me not to post…
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary:
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what
this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe.
For now…
OMG that is SO TRUE about the cat especially. Thats hilarious! I am hysterical laughing about that cat’s entry right now!!!! HAHAHA. Thanks for the laugh
Hmmmmm….I think one of my cats is the author of this particular piece.
Hahaha. That’s great and had me in tears. I really felt like you were reading Casper’s diary for a second there. Have a wonderful wknd and God Bless.
J&D
This always makes me laugh! I used it once as a blog post for rusty and one of my cats and changed it a little to fit them. http://chasingsquirrelswithrusty.wordpress.com/2008/02/21/rustys-diary-bobs-diary/
Sharon (Rusty’s mom)
OMG this is SO FUNNY. I seriously think sometimes that that is what my cat is contemplating in his head in secret.
This is so funny. After a stressful day of shopping and cleaning, it was exactly what I needed. I read it out loud to the family, and they too got a good laugh out of it.
)
LOL. That stuff is hilarious and so true. My cats constantly look annoyed that I live here until it’s food time. Then I am abruptly an annoyance again.
My dog read the ‘dog diary entry’ and said reading it was his “favorite thing”.
My cats read the cat’s entry only after I wrapped them in a towel to prevent my being bitten! I think they agree with everything, but they are under the bed working on a plot to escape!
Terrific post, two paws up!!
Soo
http://www.soosoriginals.com
oh my gosh this is hilarious!
haha this made me laugh!
its so cute. and these seem to be
the animals true feelings because my
cats always look anoyed and my dog is
so doppie and happy
[...] just for a little additional fun, check out this post about Dog and Cat diaries from Thoughts Fur Paws. More From AngelaReading to Kids (Even Babies)Back on Blossom Street – A [...]
The 1 about the cat was very funny. I’m a cat lover