Cats Vs. Dogs

Posted on March 23rd, 2009 in Canine Corner, Cats, Dogs, Funny Dogs and Cats, Kitty Corner

I got this in an email the other day and thought it was worth sharing…

Cats Vs. Dogs

Question:  How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

1. Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie:
Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

3. Dachshund:
You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler:
Make me.

5. Boxer:
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab:
Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb!
Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd:
I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier:
I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog:
Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb.

10. Cocker Spaniel:
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua:
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

12. Pointer:
I see it, there it is, there it is, right there …

13. Greyhound:
It isn’t moving. Who cares?

14. New Zealand Sheep Dog:
First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

15. Poodle:
I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat’s Answer:
“Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?”

All of  which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff.

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They’re moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.

9 Responses to “Cats Vs. Dogs”

  1. B&E says:

    HAHAHA, this is really great. I like the last part about the men and women as dogs and cats respectively. Funny stuff :)

  2. JacksDaddy says:

    What a great post! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

  3. Paco & Milo says:

    WAAAWAAAWAAAA!!!!Great post dear friends!!!
    thanks for sharing with us and for made us laughing a lot!!!
    we lve the final part where is explained what is a dog!!!
    YES!!!!we’re in accord with you totally!!!!
    we love you a lot and your blog is GREATTTTTT Like you!!!!!!!!!!
    Kisses and licks dear dear dear friends!!!
    P.S.:
    we had invited you at Dog Bone Zone!!!!
    Quickly you’ll receive mail to confirm you your registration!!!
    Thanks a lot for being our friends!!!
    SMACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

  4. Khyra says:

    Ah yes!

    Furry funny thoughts and images!

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra

  5. the 4Bs says:

    we’ll change the light bulb. really we will.

    woofs.

  6. Lorenza says:

    Thanks for the good laugh we had reading your post!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

  7. bryan says:

    CAT IS THE BEST…HEHE

  8. [...] are manic-depressive. 15. A dog’s love is unconditional. Cats would rather just be friends. See: Cats vs. Dogs [giggle] [...]

  9. cat lover says:

    Great post! I started a thread a few months ago trying to compare the two “Cats and Dogs” and I’m getting interesting response.. vote for your favorite http://forums.cozay.com/cats-vs-dogs-which-better-t36.html

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